Overcoming a Victim Mentality
Vayeshev
Yosef had every reason to throw in the towel, give up on life and be angry at the world. He suffered setback after setback, disappointment after disappointment.
He lost his mother at a young age and was despised by his own brothers who socially excluded him. So great was their hatred and jealousy, that they decided to kill him, throwing him into a pit. After deciding that they could not kill him, they sold Yosef in to slavery.
Yosef arrived in Mitzrayim as a lowly slave, far away both physically and spiritually from his father’s home. Away from his family, alone and left to fend for himself at the tender age of 17.
Yosef worked diligently and brought prosperity to his master’s house, earning his praise and honour. He was elevated to become the overseer of the entire household and all of his masters affairs.
When the wife of Potiphar tried to seduce Yosef, he could have easily succumbed. Here he was, a 17 year old boy living in a place of immorality, far away from his family. No one would know. But Yosef had a deep sense of right and wrong and could not bring himself to sin against his G-d or his master.
But his decision and self-restraint did not bring him reward. He was falsely accused by the wife of Potiphar and found himself in prison. Even though his master knew the truth, he blinded himself to it and Yosef was stripped of his honours and labelled a sinner.
Again Yosef could have given up and resigned himself to his sad predicament. He had done nothing wrong, he was innocent and now he was languishing as a prisoner.
After all that he had been through and at each of his misfortunes, Yosef could have lost hope and fell into the depths of depression and despair, believing things would never get better and that he was destined to fail. He could have seen the entire world as out to get him. He could have allowed himself to rebel and sin and blame it on his circumstances and mistreatment. Yosef would have been the classic example of the mindset of a victim mentality.
But Yosef did not give up. He worked hard in the prison, with a positive and joyous disposition. His charm earned him the favour of the officers and he was entrusted with overseeing all of the prisoners.
But one final insult was yet to come. Yosef went out of his way to help the chief butler, with the favourable interpretation of his dream. The butler promised to remind Pharaoh about him and help secure his release, but on his release, deliberately forgot his promise, leaving Yosef to languish in prison for another 2 years.
Whilst perhaps not as traumatic as Yosef’s life, we all experience ups and down in our lives. We suffer setbacks and disappointments in different areas of our lives, including our careers, financial standing, health and family problems. Like waves, they may come one after another, leaving us little time to breath and recompose in between. These experiences may lead us to give up, lose hope and see ourselves as victims and even drive us to negative and harmful behaviours that we may justify.
By looking at Yosef, we can learn how to ride the waves of our challenges and never give up.
Yosef never lost his faith in Hashem. Even as a slave, the name of Hashem was constantly on his lips. Bitachon, trust in Hashem is our greatest anchor and strength when facing life’s challenges, knowing that whatever happens comes from Him and that we are in His hands. No matter what we are going through, we know that we are never alone.
Our sages teach that when the wife of Potiphar tried to seduce him and he felt a moment of weakness, he saw the image of his father and this gave him the strength to overcome his struggle. Yosef remembered who he was and where he came from. He remembered that he has a father who loves him and believed in him. This gave him inner strength.
Yosef never gave up. He always tried to make the most out of every situation that he found himself in. He never let his circumstance, be it slave or prisoner define him. With dignity and self-belief, he always strove to be productive and find success.
Despite his own suffering, Yosef was sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. The morning after the chief butler and baker had their troubling dreams, Yosef noticed that they were looking sad. He could have ignored them and felt completely justified. He had his own worries and bitter predicament to contend with. But he reached out to them with empathy, asking if they were okay and how he could help.
Many time the key to our own struggles and the way to find joy and purpose, is by helping and giving to others.
Ultimately Yosef’s circumstances changed dramatically. In a short space of time he was freed and elevated, becoming viceroy of Egypt and the saviour of the known world. Retroactively it became apparent that each setback was a necessary step to get him there.
With Bitachon, positivity and determination, we too will emerge stronger and grow from our challenges, advancing towards a brighter future and redemption.
He lost his mother at a young age and was despised by his own brothers who socially excluded him. So great was their hatred and jealousy, that they decided to kill him, throwing him into a pit. After deciding that they could not kill him, they sold Yosef in to slavery.
Yosef arrived in Mitzrayim as a lowly slave, far away both physically and spiritually from his father’s home. Away from his family, alone and left to fend for himself at the tender age of 17.
Yosef worked diligently and brought prosperity to his master’s house, earning his praise and honour. He was elevated to become the overseer of the entire household and all of his masters affairs.
When the wife of Potiphar tried to seduce Yosef, he could have easily succumbed. Here he was, a 17 year old boy living in a place of immorality, far away from his family. No one would know. But Yosef had a deep sense of right and wrong and could not bring himself to sin against his G-d or his master.
But his decision and self-restraint did not bring him reward. He was falsely accused by the wife of Potiphar and found himself in prison. Even though his master knew the truth, he blinded himself to it and Yosef was stripped of his honours and labelled a sinner.
Again Yosef could have given up and resigned himself to his sad predicament. He had done nothing wrong, he was innocent and now he was languishing as a prisoner.
After all that he had been through and at each of his misfortunes, Yosef could have lost hope and fell into the depths of depression and despair, believing things would never get better and that he was destined to fail. He could have seen the entire world as out to get him. He could have allowed himself to rebel and sin and blame it on his circumstances and mistreatment. Yosef would have been the classic example of the mindset of a victim mentality.
But Yosef did not give up. He worked hard in the prison, with a positive and joyous disposition. His charm earned him the favour of the officers and he was entrusted with overseeing all of the prisoners.
But one final insult was yet to come. Yosef went out of his way to help the chief butler, with the favourable interpretation of his dream. The butler promised to remind Pharaoh about him and help secure his release, but on his release, deliberately forgot his promise, leaving Yosef to languish in prison for another 2 years.
Whilst perhaps not as traumatic as Yosef’s life, we all experience ups and down in our lives. We suffer setbacks and disappointments in different areas of our lives, including our careers, financial standing, health and family problems. Like waves, they may come one after another, leaving us little time to breath and recompose in between. These experiences may lead us to give up, lose hope and see ourselves as victims and even drive us to negative and harmful behaviours that we may justify.
By looking at Yosef, we can learn how to ride the waves of our challenges and never give up.
Yosef never lost his faith in Hashem. Even as a slave, the name of Hashem was constantly on his lips. Bitachon, trust in Hashem is our greatest anchor and strength when facing life’s challenges, knowing that whatever happens comes from Him and that we are in His hands. No matter what we are going through, we know that we are never alone.
Our sages teach that when the wife of Potiphar tried to seduce him and he felt a moment of weakness, he saw the image of his father and this gave him the strength to overcome his struggle. Yosef remembered who he was and where he came from. He remembered that he has a father who loves him and believed in him. This gave him inner strength.
Yosef never gave up. He always tried to make the most out of every situation that he found himself in. He never let his circumstance, be it slave or prisoner define him. With dignity and self-belief, he always strove to be productive and find success.
Despite his own suffering, Yosef was sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. The morning after the chief butler and baker had their troubling dreams, Yosef noticed that they were looking sad. He could have ignored them and felt completely justified. He had his own worries and bitter predicament to contend with. But he reached out to them with empathy, asking if they were okay and how he could help.
Many time the key to our own struggles and the way to find joy and purpose, is by helping and giving to others.
Ultimately Yosef’s circumstances changed dramatically. In a short space of time he was freed and elevated, becoming viceroy of Egypt and the saviour of the known world. Retroactively it became apparent that each setback was a necessary step to get him there.
With Bitachon, positivity and determination, we too will emerge stronger and grow from our challenges, advancing towards a brighter future and redemption.