Lighting Candles after Giving Birth
Q. I have heard that the Poskim say that on the Shabbos after giving birth, the husband should light the candles instead of the wife. Is this what we actually do?
As discussed in the previous article, the Mitzvah of lighting Shabbos candles is a requirement for the entire home. Based on a number of reasons, this Mitzvah is entrusted to the the lady of the household.
The first Shabbos after giving birth
The Magen Avraham[1] records the custom that on the Shabbos after a woman gives birth, her husband should light the candles.
There are different reasons suggested for this custom. Some suggest that it is because after giving birth, the Yoledes is ritually impure[2]. There are a number of difficulties with this explanation.
Whilst there were some who had the custom that a woman would not recite Brachos or Daven while they were ritually impure, the Poskim do not accept this custom[3]. On the contrary, they write strongly against it[4]. The Magen Avraham[5] himself writes that a woman in her state of Niddah still lights the candles and makes the blessings. This is also recorded by the Alter Rebbe. Since the accepted Halacha is that a woman who is ritually impure is required to Daven and make all of the blessings and still lights Shabbos candles, why should a Yoledes be different?
Further, the custom is limited to the first Shabbos after giving birth. Even though the impurity from giving birth remains until she immerses in the Mikvah and it is possible that this may continue for a number of weeks, we do not say that the Yoledes does not light the candles during these subsequent weeks.
Others suggest[6] that the custom evolved because in former times, after giving birth, the Yoledes would not leave her bed or room while she was recuperating. This was based on the medical advice and practise at the time. As such, she would be unable to light the candles in their place by the table.
There is an additional reason brought in the Poskim[7]. One of the reasons that the Mitzvah of lighting Shabbos candles is entrusted to the lady of the household rather than her husband, is because lighting Shabbos candles is a Tikkun for Chavah’s role in the Sin of the Eitz Hadaas, which brought death to the world. In the words of the sages, she lights Shabbos candles because “she extinguished the candle of the world” - a reference to the soul of Adam.
After giving birth and bringing a new Neshama into the world, she does not require the candle-lighting as a Tikkun that week. Once the Tikkun is no longer required, the Mitzvah of candle-lighting reverts back to the husband.
Both of these reasons would explain why the custom is limited to a Yoledes as opposed to a woman who is in a regular state of Niddah. They also explain why the custom would be limited to the first week after giving birth.
There are a number of practical differences in Halacha that arise depending on what the reason for the custom is.
According to the reason that it is because the Yoledes would remain in bed to recuperate, if the Yoledes is already able to leave her room and move around the house - as is common nowadays, she would be obligated to light the candles as per usual. According to the other two reasons, the fact that she can leave her room would not matter and the husband would still light the candles.
According to the third reason, that it is because she does not require the Tikkun and so the Mitzvah reverts back to the husband, if the husband were to defer to her and ask her to light instead of him, she would be able to light the candles. According to the first and second reasons, she would not be able to light.
Dissenting Opinions
Some Acharonim[8] disagree with the custom entirely. They record that the custom was to bring the candles into the room of the Yoledes for her to light, after which they would be brought to the table. Others[9] question this practise because according to the Rambam and Ram”o, the candles must be lit in their place.
Some suggest that in order to be Yotzai with the lighting next to her bed, the candles should be left for a short time next to her bed where they were lit. It still remains questionable how this helps, because the primary place for lighting candles and the candles over which the blessings should recited, should be the candles near the table where one will eat the Shabbos meals.
According to these authorities, if the Yoledes is able to light the candles near or on the table, she should certainly do so. This is the approach of the major contemporary Acharonim[10] who write that nowadays when women do get up and move around after birth, they do light the candles on the first Shabbos after giving birth.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe writes[11] that the Yoledes herself lights and (if required) we bring the candles to the bed for her to light. Similarly, our practise is that a woman who is ritually impure continues to go to Shule and recite the prayers without any change. The Rebbe notes that this was the directive given by the Tzemach Tzedek to his daughter-in-law, Rebbetzin Rivka and was also the directive of the Alter Rebbe to the Rebbetzin of the Tzemach Tzedek.
Yomtov Candles
The Acharonim write that the custom recorded by the Magen Avraham applies to lighting Yomtov candles as well[12]. The Ketzos Hashulchan[13] writes that it is unclear whether the custom was specifically for the first Shabbos or for the first candle-lighting. The practical difference would arise in a week where a woman gives birth before Yomtov and the husband lit the candles on Yomtov. Would he also light the candles on the first Shabbos or would it revert back to his wife?
Lighting in hospital
Even when in hospital, a Yoledes has an obligation to light Shabbos candles in her room. However, due to safety concerns, most hospitals will not permit lighting a naked flame.
The preferred option would be to “light” by turning on two incandescent light bulbs. There is a dispute whether a Bracha may be recited when lighting electric lights[14]. One would definitely not make a Bracha when using fluorescent or LED lights. If there are no light bulbs or lamps available, at the time of candle-lighting, she should turn off the room lights and turn them on again, having in mind that this is being done for the honour of Shabbos.
Even if the Yoledes will be lighting in hospital, the husband remains obligated to light candles at home. If the husband will be in the hospital with his wife, someone else in the home should light the Shabbos candles. If no one will be home over Shabbos, there is no need to light candles in the house.
_________________________________
[1] Orach Chaim 263:6. The source of this custom is the Mateh Moshe. Also quoted in Shulchan Aruch Harav Orach Chaim 263:5
[2] Aruch Hashulchan Orach Chaim 263:7. Some suggest that the Magen Avraham and Alter Rebbe base their ruling on this reason, because they add that a woman who is in a regular state of Niddah still lights the candles and makes the blessing, suggesting that the cases are similar. Others suggest that because there is no reason to distinguish between the impurity of a Yoledes and a Niddah, the Alter Rebbe and Magen Avraham must be hinting to us that impurity is not the reason for the custom of not lighting candles.
[3] Raviya Siman 65, Hagahos Maimonios Hilchos Tefillah 4:3, Magen Avraham Orach Chaim 88:2, Shulchan Aruch Harav Orach Chaim 88:2
[4] Perhaps one could distinguish between reciting Brachos over food and Davening which are obligations and the lighting of the candles which could be performed by the husband, so that the reciting of the Bracha by the woman is not necessary. This would be supported by the Alter Rebbe’s ruling (Orach Chaim 88:2) that it is preferable for a woman who is Niddah to hear Kiddush and bentching from someone else. Nonetheless as discussed above, the same Acharonim do permit a Niddah to light the candles and recite the Bracha.
[5] Orach Chaim 263:7
[6] Imrei Baruch
[7] Be’er Moshe 8:66
[8] See Kaf Hachaim 263:23 quoting Shayarei Kneses Hagedolah who writes that this is a Minhag Yafah – a nice custom.
[9] Birkei Yosef quoting Rabbi Yitzchak Levi Vahli. This may be the entire reason for the custom of the husband lighting on the Shabbos after birth, see Tehillah Ledovid 88:3.
[10] Rabbi Moshe Feistein ruling as quoted in “The Radiance of Shabbos”, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach quoted in Halichos Bas Yisroel. Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 43:9
[11] Hagahos on the Siddur of the Alter Rebbe page 28. Quoted in Shulchan Menachem volume 2 page 45
[12] Mateh Efraim 599:9.
[13] 74:13
[14] See Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 43:4 and the sources quoted there.
As discussed in the previous article, the Mitzvah of lighting Shabbos candles is a requirement for the entire home. Based on a number of reasons, this Mitzvah is entrusted to the the lady of the household.
The first Shabbos after giving birth
The Magen Avraham[1] records the custom that on the Shabbos after a woman gives birth, her husband should light the candles.
There are different reasons suggested for this custom. Some suggest that it is because after giving birth, the Yoledes is ritually impure[2]. There are a number of difficulties with this explanation.
Whilst there were some who had the custom that a woman would not recite Brachos or Daven while they were ritually impure, the Poskim do not accept this custom[3]. On the contrary, they write strongly against it[4]. The Magen Avraham[5] himself writes that a woman in her state of Niddah still lights the candles and makes the blessings. This is also recorded by the Alter Rebbe. Since the accepted Halacha is that a woman who is ritually impure is required to Daven and make all of the blessings and still lights Shabbos candles, why should a Yoledes be different?
Further, the custom is limited to the first Shabbos after giving birth. Even though the impurity from giving birth remains until she immerses in the Mikvah and it is possible that this may continue for a number of weeks, we do not say that the Yoledes does not light the candles during these subsequent weeks.
Others suggest[6] that the custom evolved because in former times, after giving birth, the Yoledes would not leave her bed or room while she was recuperating. This was based on the medical advice and practise at the time. As such, she would be unable to light the candles in their place by the table.
There is an additional reason brought in the Poskim[7]. One of the reasons that the Mitzvah of lighting Shabbos candles is entrusted to the lady of the household rather than her husband, is because lighting Shabbos candles is a Tikkun for Chavah’s role in the Sin of the Eitz Hadaas, which brought death to the world. In the words of the sages, she lights Shabbos candles because “she extinguished the candle of the world” - a reference to the soul of Adam.
After giving birth and bringing a new Neshama into the world, she does not require the candle-lighting as a Tikkun that week. Once the Tikkun is no longer required, the Mitzvah of candle-lighting reverts back to the husband.
Both of these reasons would explain why the custom is limited to a Yoledes as opposed to a woman who is in a regular state of Niddah. They also explain why the custom would be limited to the first week after giving birth.
There are a number of practical differences in Halacha that arise depending on what the reason for the custom is.
According to the reason that it is because the Yoledes would remain in bed to recuperate, if the Yoledes is already able to leave her room and move around the house - as is common nowadays, she would be obligated to light the candles as per usual. According to the other two reasons, the fact that she can leave her room would not matter and the husband would still light the candles.
According to the third reason, that it is because she does not require the Tikkun and so the Mitzvah reverts back to the husband, if the husband were to defer to her and ask her to light instead of him, she would be able to light the candles. According to the first and second reasons, she would not be able to light.
Dissenting Opinions
Some Acharonim[8] disagree with the custom entirely. They record that the custom was to bring the candles into the room of the Yoledes for her to light, after which they would be brought to the table. Others[9] question this practise because according to the Rambam and Ram”o, the candles must be lit in their place.
Some suggest that in order to be Yotzai with the lighting next to her bed, the candles should be left for a short time next to her bed where they were lit. It still remains questionable how this helps, because the primary place for lighting candles and the candles over which the blessings should recited, should be the candles near the table where one will eat the Shabbos meals.
According to these authorities, if the Yoledes is able to light the candles near or on the table, she should certainly do so. This is the approach of the major contemporary Acharonim[10] who write that nowadays when women do get up and move around after birth, they do light the candles on the first Shabbos after giving birth.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe writes[11] that the Yoledes herself lights and (if required) we bring the candles to the bed for her to light. Similarly, our practise is that a woman who is ritually impure continues to go to Shule and recite the prayers without any change. The Rebbe notes that this was the directive given by the Tzemach Tzedek to his daughter-in-law, Rebbetzin Rivka and was also the directive of the Alter Rebbe to the Rebbetzin of the Tzemach Tzedek.
Yomtov Candles
The Acharonim write that the custom recorded by the Magen Avraham applies to lighting Yomtov candles as well[12]. The Ketzos Hashulchan[13] writes that it is unclear whether the custom was specifically for the first Shabbos or for the first candle-lighting. The practical difference would arise in a week where a woman gives birth before Yomtov and the husband lit the candles on Yomtov. Would he also light the candles on the first Shabbos or would it revert back to his wife?
Lighting in hospital
Even when in hospital, a Yoledes has an obligation to light Shabbos candles in her room. However, due to safety concerns, most hospitals will not permit lighting a naked flame.
The preferred option would be to “light” by turning on two incandescent light bulbs. There is a dispute whether a Bracha may be recited when lighting electric lights[14]. One would definitely not make a Bracha when using fluorescent or LED lights. If there are no light bulbs or lamps available, at the time of candle-lighting, she should turn off the room lights and turn them on again, having in mind that this is being done for the honour of Shabbos.
Even if the Yoledes will be lighting in hospital, the husband remains obligated to light candles at home. If the husband will be in the hospital with his wife, someone else in the home should light the Shabbos candles. If no one will be home over Shabbos, there is no need to light candles in the house.
_________________________________
[1] Orach Chaim 263:6. The source of this custom is the Mateh Moshe. Also quoted in Shulchan Aruch Harav Orach Chaim 263:5
[2] Aruch Hashulchan Orach Chaim 263:7. Some suggest that the Magen Avraham and Alter Rebbe base their ruling on this reason, because they add that a woman who is in a regular state of Niddah still lights the candles and makes the blessing, suggesting that the cases are similar. Others suggest that because there is no reason to distinguish between the impurity of a Yoledes and a Niddah, the Alter Rebbe and Magen Avraham must be hinting to us that impurity is not the reason for the custom of not lighting candles.
[3] Raviya Siman 65, Hagahos Maimonios Hilchos Tefillah 4:3, Magen Avraham Orach Chaim 88:2, Shulchan Aruch Harav Orach Chaim 88:2
[4] Perhaps one could distinguish between reciting Brachos over food and Davening which are obligations and the lighting of the candles which could be performed by the husband, so that the reciting of the Bracha by the woman is not necessary. This would be supported by the Alter Rebbe’s ruling (Orach Chaim 88:2) that it is preferable for a woman who is Niddah to hear Kiddush and bentching from someone else. Nonetheless as discussed above, the same Acharonim do permit a Niddah to light the candles and recite the Bracha.
[5] Orach Chaim 263:7
[6] Imrei Baruch
[7] Be’er Moshe 8:66
[8] See Kaf Hachaim 263:23 quoting Shayarei Kneses Hagedolah who writes that this is a Minhag Yafah – a nice custom.
[9] Birkei Yosef quoting Rabbi Yitzchak Levi Vahli. This may be the entire reason for the custom of the husband lighting on the Shabbos after birth, see Tehillah Ledovid 88:3.
[10] Rabbi Moshe Feistein ruling as quoted in “The Radiance of Shabbos”, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach quoted in Halichos Bas Yisroel. Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 43:9
[11] Hagahos on the Siddur of the Alter Rebbe page 28. Quoted in Shulchan Menachem volume 2 page 45
[12] Mateh Efraim 599:9.
[13] 74:13
[14] See Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 43:4 and the sources quoted there.