LEARNING HOW TO CRITICISE LIKE THE SHOFAR
Elul - Rosh Hashana
Criticism is never really pleasant to receive and usually uncomfortable to give. But as parents, employers, teachers, supervisors, Rabbis and general members of society it is often unavoidable. On the contrary, well-meant and carefully thought out and delivered criticism can be a powerful tool to achieve desired outcomes and improved behaviours.
Contemporary psychology discusses different strategies which may be employed to make criticism more palatable and effective. One such model is referred to as the “Sandwich Method”.
Like the filling in a sandwich, this method suggests that the criticism be cushioned between two positive statements or praises. Opening up with a genuine compliment or highlighting positive behaviour creates goodwill and softens the interaction. This allows the recipient of the criticism to be open to hear it without putting up their defences.
The follow-up compliment will ensure that they don’t leave on a negative note and will feel encouraged to take the criticism on board.
Rosh Hashona is a time of Teshuvah and self-correction. The time of year calls on us to better ourselves and improve. This is the message of the Shofar. The Rambam describes the shofar as a spiritual wake-up call crying out “wake up sleepers from your sleep”. Our sages connect the word Shofar to its call of Shapru Maaseichem, a directive to beautify and correct our behaviour.
Rebuke was one of the standard clauses in a Novi’s job description. When Hashem tells the Novi Yishayahu to rebuke the Jewish people He says “Cry out, do not hold back. Lift up your voice like a Shofar and tell My people of their transgression and to the House of Jacob their sins.” He must rebuke the people like the call of the Shofar.
On Rosh Hashona we sound three sequences of notes Tekiya-Shevarim-Teruah-Tekiya, Tekiya-Shevarim-Tekiya, Tekiya-Teruah-Tekiya.
The first and last note of each sequence is a Tekiya. The “straight” Tekiya sound is an expression of Chessed (kindness). Tekiya comes from the word תקוע which means connection.
The “broken” notes Shevarim and Teruah, which are sounds of crying, express Gevurah (reproach). Shevarim means broken and Teruah is related to the word רע, negativity.
The inner chastisement of the Shofar urging us to improve is one of Gevurah, but it is wedged between two Tekiyos, the sandwich of Chessed and positive words.
This is what it means to rebuke like the call of the Shofar. When necessary, our criticism should open with pleasant words which draw the heart of the listener. We may then go on to call for improvement, Shapru Maaseichem. But the conclusion should always be positive so that the listeners leave happy and uplifted.
This is Hashem’s message to the Novi and to each one of us. We may need to rebuke and be critical from time to time; but do it like the sounds of the Shofar. With sensitivity and words from the heart, a Tekiyah at the start and a Tekiyah at the end.
~ based on the writings of the Chasam Sofer
Contemporary psychology discusses different strategies which may be employed to make criticism more palatable and effective. One such model is referred to as the “Sandwich Method”.
Like the filling in a sandwich, this method suggests that the criticism be cushioned between two positive statements or praises. Opening up with a genuine compliment or highlighting positive behaviour creates goodwill and softens the interaction. This allows the recipient of the criticism to be open to hear it without putting up their defences.
The follow-up compliment will ensure that they don’t leave on a negative note and will feel encouraged to take the criticism on board.
Rosh Hashona is a time of Teshuvah and self-correction. The time of year calls on us to better ourselves and improve. This is the message of the Shofar. The Rambam describes the shofar as a spiritual wake-up call crying out “wake up sleepers from your sleep”. Our sages connect the word Shofar to its call of Shapru Maaseichem, a directive to beautify and correct our behaviour.
Rebuke was one of the standard clauses in a Novi’s job description. When Hashem tells the Novi Yishayahu to rebuke the Jewish people He says “Cry out, do not hold back. Lift up your voice like a Shofar and tell My people of their transgression and to the House of Jacob their sins.” He must rebuke the people like the call of the Shofar.
On Rosh Hashona we sound three sequences of notes Tekiya-Shevarim-Teruah-Tekiya, Tekiya-Shevarim-Tekiya, Tekiya-Teruah-Tekiya.
The first and last note of each sequence is a Tekiya. The “straight” Tekiya sound is an expression of Chessed (kindness). Tekiya comes from the word תקוע which means connection.
The “broken” notes Shevarim and Teruah, which are sounds of crying, express Gevurah (reproach). Shevarim means broken and Teruah is related to the word רע, negativity.
The inner chastisement of the Shofar urging us to improve is one of Gevurah, but it is wedged between two Tekiyos, the sandwich of Chessed and positive words.
This is what it means to rebuke like the call of the Shofar. When necessary, our criticism should open with pleasant words which draw the heart of the listener. We may then go on to call for improvement, Shapru Maaseichem. But the conclusion should always be positive so that the listeners leave happy and uplifted.
This is Hashem’s message to the Novi and to each one of us. We may need to rebuke and be critical from time to time; but do it like the sounds of the Shofar. With sensitivity and words from the heart, a Tekiyah at the start and a Tekiyah at the end.
~ based on the writings of the Chasam Sofer