Kedoshim: The Power of Meaningful Praise and Compliments
ד“ה כי תבואו אל הארץ
A large part of our prayers are about praising Hashem. What is the idea of these praises and what do they achieve? We can understand this by understanding the place for and effects of praise in our own interpersonal relationships.
When we praise someone for a particular quality, our praise has the power to elicit that quality from within them and bring it to the fore. For example, when approaching someone to ask for charity, praising them for their kindness and generosity brings out this quality, even if the quality was hidden at that time.
Every person has a natural desire and craving for recognition and praise. This does not stem from a place of vanity. Rather, it comes from a very deep place within the psyche of the soul.
Our soul possesses seven emotional energies that parallel the seven Divine Sefiros through which Hashem creates and manifests Himself within the world. One of these Sefiros is the Sefira of Tiferes. Whilst often translated as beauty, Tiferes also means to take pride or praise.
This attribute of Tiferes is the driver behind a lot of what we do. Part of why a person wants to do an act of Chessed (kindness) is so that the recipient recognises their kindness. A person will want to share their ideas so that their intellect is appreciated.
Giving praise touches this natural craving for recognition within the other, making them feel valued, appreciated and recognised. Praising someone has the power to draw out specific qualities of a person by arousing the sense of Tiferes within that quality. So, praising someone’s generosity will arouse their desire to give.
All compliments recognise something positive about the other person. There are many things that we can compliment someone on. As a general rule, the closer the compliment is to the person themselves, the greater the revelation of their Tiferes will be and the stronger the feeling of appreciation and positivity will be.
The most basic type of compliment focuses on something that a person does or has done. The object of this type of compliment is not (directly) the person themselves. Such a compliment will be more superficial and will only touch the external aspect of Tiferes within them.
A deeper type of compliment praises someone for things connected to their being. These compliments trigger a deeper dimension in their attribute of Tiferes. This may include things like praising a person for their beautiful voice or appearance.
The deepest compliments talk to the deeper and loftier qualities of a person, such as their intellect. They reveal the essence of their Tiferes that is bound up with their essential being.
Kabbalah explains that Creation takes place through Hashem channelling His light through the Divine Sefiros or Middos. This channelling entails a descent, as Hashem is infinitely beyond the Sefiros and beyond Creation. Like praises that draw out a particular quality, our praises of Hashem draw down the Divine light to be revealed and manifest through the specific Sefiros.
In davening each day we quote a Posuk ואתה קדוש יושב תהלות ישראל - “And You, holy one, are enthroned (sit) on the praises of Israel.” When a person sits, they physically lower themselves down. The analogy of sitting Above, represents the drawing down of G-dliness into the world. This happens through the praises of Israel.
Parshas Kedoshim discusses the laws that apply when planting a fruit tree. The fruits of the first three years are Orlah. They may not be eaten or benefited from. The fruit of the fourth year is called holy, a praise to Hashem קודש הלולים לה‘. They must be eaten in Yerushalaim.
The Alter Rebbe presents a Kabbalistic explanation of these Mitzvos, drawing on the concept of praise.
The ground is a metaphor for the Sefira of Malchus. Planting a tree in the ground represents the flow from the higher Sefiros into Malchus. During the first three years, Malchus only receives from the lower three Sefiros; Netzach, Hod and Yesod. Since this revelation of G-dliness is limited, it gives rise to the forces of negativity and so the fruits are forbidden.
In the fourth year, Malchus receives additional light from the Sefira of Tiferes. Tiferes, like praise, brings a greater revelation. This is why the fruits of the fourth year are called a praise to Hashem.The greater revelation of G-dliness pushes away the negative forces and so the fruits are no longer forbidden.
However, the works of Kabbalah explain that in the fourth year, the Hamshacha is only from “the lower third of Tiferes”; the Netzach, Hod and Yesod within Tiferes. This is analogous to praising a person for their more external qualities such as what they do, which draws out a limited revelation of Tiferes. This is like our praises of Hashem for his handiwork of Creation.
Concerning the fruits of the fifth year, the Torah says “so that it will increase its crops for you”. This reflects an even greater revelation of G-dliness into Malchus. In contrast to the limited revelation of Tiferes in the fourth year, in the fifth year, there is a Hamshacha from the upper two thirds as well. This is the deeper manifestation of the essence of Tiferes such as that which comes from praising someone for their deeper qualities.
ד“ה כי תבואו אל הארץ
A large part of our prayers are about praising Hashem. What is the idea of these praises and what do they achieve? We can understand this by understanding the place for and effects of praise in our own interpersonal relationships.
When we praise someone for a particular quality, our praise has the power to elicit that quality from within them and bring it to the fore. For example, when approaching someone to ask for charity, praising them for their kindness and generosity brings out this quality, even if the quality was hidden at that time.
Every person has a natural desire and craving for recognition and praise. This does not stem from a place of vanity. Rather, it comes from a very deep place within the psyche of the soul.
Our soul possesses seven emotional energies that parallel the seven Divine Sefiros through which Hashem creates and manifests Himself within the world. One of these Sefiros is the Sefira of Tiferes. Whilst often translated as beauty, Tiferes also means to take pride or praise.
This attribute of Tiferes is the driver behind a lot of what we do. Part of why a person wants to do an act of Chessed (kindness) is so that the recipient recognises their kindness. A person will want to share their ideas so that their intellect is appreciated.
Giving praise touches this natural craving for recognition within the other, making them feel valued, appreciated and recognised. Praising someone has the power to draw out specific qualities of a person by arousing the sense of Tiferes within that quality. So, praising someone’s generosity will arouse their desire to give.
All compliments recognise something positive about the other person. There are many things that we can compliment someone on. As a general rule, the closer the compliment is to the person themselves, the greater the revelation of their Tiferes will be and the stronger the feeling of appreciation and positivity will be.
The most basic type of compliment focuses on something that a person does or has done. The object of this type of compliment is not (directly) the person themselves. Such a compliment will be more superficial and will only touch the external aspect of Tiferes within them.
A deeper type of compliment praises someone for things connected to their being. These compliments trigger a deeper dimension in their attribute of Tiferes. This may include things like praising a person for their beautiful voice or appearance.
The deepest compliments talk to the deeper and loftier qualities of a person, such as their intellect. They reveal the essence of their Tiferes that is bound up with their essential being.
Kabbalah explains that Creation takes place through Hashem channelling His light through the Divine Sefiros or Middos. This channelling entails a descent, as Hashem is infinitely beyond the Sefiros and beyond Creation. Like praises that draw out a particular quality, our praises of Hashem draw down the Divine light to be revealed and manifest through the specific Sefiros.
In davening each day we quote a Posuk ואתה קדוש יושב תהלות ישראל - “And You, holy one, are enthroned (sit) on the praises of Israel.” When a person sits, they physically lower themselves down. The analogy of sitting Above, represents the drawing down of G-dliness into the world. This happens through the praises of Israel.
Parshas Kedoshim discusses the laws that apply when planting a fruit tree. The fruits of the first three years are Orlah. They may not be eaten or benefited from. The fruit of the fourth year is called holy, a praise to Hashem קודש הלולים לה‘. They must be eaten in Yerushalaim.
The Alter Rebbe presents a Kabbalistic explanation of these Mitzvos, drawing on the concept of praise.
The ground is a metaphor for the Sefira of Malchus. Planting a tree in the ground represents the flow from the higher Sefiros into Malchus. During the first three years, Malchus only receives from the lower three Sefiros; Netzach, Hod and Yesod. Since this revelation of G-dliness is limited, it gives rise to the forces of negativity and so the fruits are forbidden.
In the fourth year, Malchus receives additional light from the Sefira of Tiferes. Tiferes, like praise, brings a greater revelation. This is why the fruits of the fourth year are called a praise to Hashem.The greater revelation of G-dliness pushes away the negative forces and so the fruits are no longer forbidden.
However, the works of Kabbalah explain that in the fourth year, the Hamshacha is only from “the lower third of Tiferes”; the Netzach, Hod and Yesod within Tiferes. This is analogous to praising a person for their more external qualities such as what they do, which draws out a limited revelation of Tiferes. This is like our praises of Hashem for his handiwork of Creation.
Concerning the fruits of the fifth year, the Torah says “so that it will increase its crops for you”. This reflects an even greater revelation of G-dliness into Malchus. In contrast to the limited revelation of Tiferes in the fourth year, in the fifth year, there is a Hamshacha from the upper two thirds as well. This is the deeper manifestation of the essence of Tiferes such as that which comes from praising someone for their deeper qualities.