Falling in Love with the Hidden Self of Leah
Vayishlach
In Parshas Vayishlach, Yaakov’s name is changed to Yisrael. This is described twice in the Parsha. The first time is communicated by the angel to Yaakov, after Yaakov prevails over him in battle and demands that the angel bless him. This blessing is an allusion to the new name that Hashem will bestow upon Yaakov.
When Yaakov returns to Eretz Yisrael and gives thanks to Hashem for his safe return, Hashem tells him “your name will no longer be called Yaakov, but rather Yisrael will be your name”.
Immediately after Hashem bestows this new name on Yaakov, the Torah describes the passing of Rachel, as she gives birth to Binyamin.
Everything in Torah, including order and juxtaposition, is deliberate. Sometimes the connection is obvious and sometimes more obscure. In the case of these two passages, the Kabbalists explain why Rachel passes away immediately after Yaakov’s name is changed. Their mystical explanation gives us a fascinating insight into human nature and how to attain a deep connection in our relationships with ourselves and with others.
In Kabbalistic literature, Rachel and Leah represent 2 different worlds. Rachel, who is described by her physical beauty, represents the “revealed world”. Leah represents the “hidden world”. In our psyche, the revealed world is our capacity of speech. Through speech, we reveal and communicate our thoughts and feelings to others. The hidden world is like our thoughts, which remain hidden within the recesses of our own minds, that we do not share with others.
Contemporary psychology describes two levels of self; the hidden self and the revealed self.
Our revealed self is the side of ourselves that we show to the outside and present to those around us. This is how we wish to be seen and how we wish to see ourselves. But the revealed self is a façade that hides our deeper hidden self.
The hidden self is the deeper layers of our psyche where we keep our fears, our traumas and our deepest dreams. We keep these hidden because we are afraid to reveal them. We do this to protect ourselves because to reveal them means to be vulnerable. Will this part of ourselves be loved and accepted? Will we be judged or shamed?
It is much easier to relate in our relationships on the superficial level. It does not require the same degree of effort or the ability to express empathy and deep understanding needed to discover, understand, accept and embrace someone’s deeper hidden self. To do be able to truly do this takes a much greater level of emotional maturity.
The name יעקב - Yaakov, contains the word עקב, meaning a heal. He was given this name because he emerged holding onto his twin brothers heal. The heal is the lowest part of the body. As such, the name Yaakov represents our forefather Yaakov in a lower spiritual level.
In contrast, the letters of the name ישראל - Yisrael when rearranged, spells ראש לי, literally “the head is to me”. This name represents Yaakov after he has attained spiritual elevation and perfection, like the head and brain which is the loftiest of our limbs and organs, both physically and in quality. He was given this name for having prevailed over “G-d and man”.
When Yaakov first meets Rachel, she is described by her physical beauty and outward appearance. This is the revealed self. Yaakov loved Rachel, because the revealed self is easy to love and embrace. But hidden behind the veil, was Leah - the hidden self.
Unlike Rachel’s physical beauty, Leah is described as having “weak eyes”. Our sages say that this is because of her tears. This represents our deeper emotions. Whereas Yaakov loved Rachel, he ‘despised’ Leah. The name Leah means to weary. To connect with someone on a deeper level with real emotional intimacy and connection is wearying.
But this was on the level of Yaakov. Through his own life experiences and personal growth, Yaakov became Yisrael. With this growth and maturity, Yisrael was finally able to achieve the relationship with Leah.
Rachel’s passing represents the maturation and deepening of a relationship where the external, superficial relationship is replaced by a deeper relationship of real understanding of the other, where we can share and come to love the deeper hidden self.
Rabbi Sholom Elyashiv in his Kabbalistic work “Leshem”, explains that Rachel and Leah are two parts of one soul. Were it not for the sin of the Eitz Hadaas (the Tree of Knowledge), these two dimensions would have remained one. The Sin of the Eitz Hadaas brought shame. Prior to this shame, there was no barrier between the hidden and the revealed self. But after the Sin, this sense of shame caused a separation, whereby we hide the deeper parts of our being, afraid to share them.
Attaining a spiritually and emotionally mature relationship where we can safely share our full-self, the revealed and the hidden, is a rectification of the Eitz Hadaas and a step towards Redemption.
When Yaakov returns to Eretz Yisrael and gives thanks to Hashem for his safe return, Hashem tells him “your name will no longer be called Yaakov, but rather Yisrael will be your name”.
Immediately after Hashem bestows this new name on Yaakov, the Torah describes the passing of Rachel, as she gives birth to Binyamin.
Everything in Torah, including order and juxtaposition, is deliberate. Sometimes the connection is obvious and sometimes more obscure. In the case of these two passages, the Kabbalists explain why Rachel passes away immediately after Yaakov’s name is changed. Their mystical explanation gives us a fascinating insight into human nature and how to attain a deep connection in our relationships with ourselves and with others.
In Kabbalistic literature, Rachel and Leah represent 2 different worlds. Rachel, who is described by her physical beauty, represents the “revealed world”. Leah represents the “hidden world”. In our psyche, the revealed world is our capacity of speech. Through speech, we reveal and communicate our thoughts and feelings to others. The hidden world is like our thoughts, which remain hidden within the recesses of our own minds, that we do not share with others.
Contemporary psychology describes two levels of self; the hidden self and the revealed self.
Our revealed self is the side of ourselves that we show to the outside and present to those around us. This is how we wish to be seen and how we wish to see ourselves. But the revealed self is a façade that hides our deeper hidden self.
The hidden self is the deeper layers of our psyche where we keep our fears, our traumas and our deepest dreams. We keep these hidden because we are afraid to reveal them. We do this to protect ourselves because to reveal them means to be vulnerable. Will this part of ourselves be loved and accepted? Will we be judged or shamed?
It is much easier to relate in our relationships on the superficial level. It does not require the same degree of effort or the ability to express empathy and deep understanding needed to discover, understand, accept and embrace someone’s deeper hidden self. To do be able to truly do this takes a much greater level of emotional maturity.
The name יעקב - Yaakov, contains the word עקב, meaning a heal. He was given this name because he emerged holding onto his twin brothers heal. The heal is the lowest part of the body. As such, the name Yaakov represents our forefather Yaakov in a lower spiritual level.
In contrast, the letters of the name ישראל - Yisrael when rearranged, spells ראש לי, literally “the head is to me”. This name represents Yaakov after he has attained spiritual elevation and perfection, like the head and brain which is the loftiest of our limbs and organs, both physically and in quality. He was given this name for having prevailed over “G-d and man”.
When Yaakov first meets Rachel, she is described by her physical beauty and outward appearance. This is the revealed self. Yaakov loved Rachel, because the revealed self is easy to love and embrace. But hidden behind the veil, was Leah - the hidden self.
Unlike Rachel’s physical beauty, Leah is described as having “weak eyes”. Our sages say that this is because of her tears. This represents our deeper emotions. Whereas Yaakov loved Rachel, he ‘despised’ Leah. The name Leah means to weary. To connect with someone on a deeper level with real emotional intimacy and connection is wearying.
But this was on the level of Yaakov. Through his own life experiences and personal growth, Yaakov became Yisrael. With this growth and maturity, Yisrael was finally able to achieve the relationship with Leah.
Rachel’s passing represents the maturation and deepening of a relationship where the external, superficial relationship is replaced by a deeper relationship of real understanding of the other, where we can share and come to love the deeper hidden self.
Rabbi Sholom Elyashiv in his Kabbalistic work “Leshem”, explains that Rachel and Leah are two parts of one soul. Were it not for the sin of the Eitz Hadaas (the Tree of Knowledge), these two dimensions would have remained one. The Sin of the Eitz Hadaas brought shame. Prior to this shame, there was no barrier between the hidden and the revealed self. But after the Sin, this sense of shame caused a separation, whereby we hide the deeper parts of our being, afraid to share them.
Attaining a spiritually and emotionally mature relationship where we can safely share our full-self, the revealed and the hidden, is a rectification of the Eitz Hadaas and a step towards Redemption.