BECOMING THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE
Bamidbar - Shavuos
The marriage of a Chosson and Kallah is a metaphor for the union between Hashem and the Jewish people. This marriage was forged at Matan Torah and is renewed every year on Shavuos. The concluding words of the Haftorah for Parshas Bamidbar, which is read before Shavuos, describe how we achieve this marriage-bond.
וְאֵֽרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִ֖י לְעוֹלָ֑ם וְאֵֽרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִי֙ בְּצֶ֣דֶק וּבְמִשְׁפָּ֔ט וּבְחֶ֖סֶד וּבְרַֽחֲמִֽים: וְאֵֽרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִ֖י בֶּאֱמוּנָ֑ה וְיָדַ֖עַתְּ אֶת ה'
“And I will betroth you to Me forever, and I will betroth you to Me with righteousness and with justice and with loving-kindness and with mercy. And I will betroth you to Me with faith, and you shall know the Lord.”
Many have the custom of reciting these Pesukim when wrapping the Tefillin strap around their middle finger, symbolic of the wedding ring that unites us with Hashem.
Not all brides are alike. The Gemara asks ‘how do we dance before the bride?’ Beis Hillel say that we praise every Kallah as ‘beautiful and graceful’. Beis Shammai point out that Beis Hillel’s approach is not always honest, asking ‘what if the Kallah is blind or lame?’
Instead, Beis Shammai teach that we describe each bride as she is.
The Halacha is like Beis Hillel because every bride is beautiful in the eyes of her husband. Nonetheless, from an objective stance, the differences in appearance still remain.
The Alter Rebbe explains that in the Neshamos of the Jewish people we find the same 2 types of bride. There is the beautiful bride and the bride who is spiritually lacking – lame or blind.
The word Kallah also means to yearn deeply as the verse says כלתה נפשי - “My soul yearns longingly for Hashem”. This is alluded to in Hashem’s words to Chava “your desire will be to your husband”. The Neshama as a Kallah, has a deep and constant yearning to unite with her “Chosson” – Hashem.
The first stage of marriage is the act of Kiddushin. The act of Kiddushin is performed by the groom giving an item of monetary value to the bride. Universal Jewish custom is to use a ring. By accepting Kiddushin, two things occur; the bride become forbidden to all other men and she enters a unique and exclusive bond with her husband.
The same is true with Hashem’s betrothal of the Jewish people. Through this betrothal, all other desires for materialism and physicality become forbidden to us. We also unite with Hashem in an exclusive bond of oneness.
The circular ring represents an Or Makif, a transcendent, all-encompassing light, which like a ring, surrounds and encompasses all existence. Hashem betroths us through Torah and Mitzvos which contain this light. We allude to this in the Bracha of each Mitzvah where we say “Asher Kideshanu Bemitzvosav” which can also mean that He has ‘betrothed us’ with His Mitzvos.
It is easy for the ‘beautiful Kallah’ Neshama to unite in Kiddushin with Hashem. These are the souls who seek to cleave to Hashem through the words of Torah and Tefillah; studying with a depth of understanding and Davening with Kavanah.
The spiritually-deficient bride is the Neshama that struggles to overcome the animalistic soul. The Neshama is pure, but she is unable to actualise her deep yearning for connection to Hashem because of the animalistic soul that leads her astray after materialism and sin. These souls need to take a different route to the Chuppah.
“And I will betroth you to Me forever” refers to the beautiful bride, the Neshama which has a constant and unchanging bond with Hashem through immersion in Torah and Tefillah.
The continuation of the verses teach us how even the bride who is “blind” or “lame” can become betrothed and connected to Hashem.
“And I will betroth you to Me with righteousness (Tzedek) and with justice and with loving-kindness and with mercy”. Tzedaka has the power to redeem the Neshama from captivity within the desires of the animalistic soul, as our sages teach, “Tzedaka brings redemption”. There must also be justice – referring to judging oneself to actively remove the negativity of the animalistic soul.
“Loving-kindness and mercy” refers to the Avodah of arousing mercy and feeling a deep sense of Rachmonus for our Neshama that has fallen so low. This arouses Hashem to have Rachmonus on us and help to lift us up from this state of captivity.
But for those Neshamos that do not have the means to give Tzedaka or the ability to arouse this sense of Rachmonus, there is a third path; “And I will betroth you to Me with faith”.
Every Neshama possesses deep within it, a core of pure faith. No matter what is happening on the external levels of the soul, this spark of Emunah remains intact, albeit hidden. This faith can be revealed through meditating on how Hashem transcends all existence. With this faith revealed, we can overcome all of the concealments and confinements of the animalistic soul. By revealing this faith, this Neshama too becomes a beautiful and graceful bride.
All of this discussion relates to Kiddushin, the first and more external stage of the union. The finalisation of the marriage, where the bride and groom become “one flesh” is the Nisuin. This is alluded to in the conclusion of the verse וְיָדַ֖עַתְּ אֶת ה‘ “and you shall know the Lord”.
The Torah describes the intimate union of Adam and Chava with the word ידע. In contrast to the external union associated with Kiddushin, Daas (knowing) represents a deep, intimate and internalised bond.
This finalisation of the marriage bond will be realised with the coming of Moshiach. Then “the world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem”, reflecting the union of oneness between Hashem and His beautiful bride, the Jewish people that will be manifest for the whole world to see and celebrate.
~ Based on Likutei Torah Parshas Bamidbar
וְאֵֽרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִ֖י לְעוֹלָ֑ם וְאֵֽרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִי֙ בְּצֶ֣דֶק וּבְמִשְׁפָּ֔ט וּבְחֶ֖סֶד וּבְרַֽחֲמִֽים: וְאֵֽרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִ֖י בֶּאֱמוּנָ֑ה וְיָדַ֖עַתְּ אֶת ה'
“And I will betroth you to Me forever, and I will betroth you to Me with righteousness and with justice and with loving-kindness and with mercy. And I will betroth you to Me with faith, and you shall know the Lord.”
Many have the custom of reciting these Pesukim when wrapping the Tefillin strap around their middle finger, symbolic of the wedding ring that unites us with Hashem.
Not all brides are alike. The Gemara asks ‘how do we dance before the bride?’ Beis Hillel say that we praise every Kallah as ‘beautiful and graceful’. Beis Shammai point out that Beis Hillel’s approach is not always honest, asking ‘what if the Kallah is blind or lame?’
Instead, Beis Shammai teach that we describe each bride as she is.
The Halacha is like Beis Hillel because every bride is beautiful in the eyes of her husband. Nonetheless, from an objective stance, the differences in appearance still remain.
The Alter Rebbe explains that in the Neshamos of the Jewish people we find the same 2 types of bride. There is the beautiful bride and the bride who is spiritually lacking – lame or blind.
The word Kallah also means to yearn deeply as the verse says כלתה נפשי - “My soul yearns longingly for Hashem”. This is alluded to in Hashem’s words to Chava “your desire will be to your husband”. The Neshama as a Kallah, has a deep and constant yearning to unite with her “Chosson” – Hashem.
The first stage of marriage is the act of Kiddushin. The act of Kiddushin is performed by the groom giving an item of monetary value to the bride. Universal Jewish custom is to use a ring. By accepting Kiddushin, two things occur; the bride become forbidden to all other men and she enters a unique and exclusive bond with her husband.
The same is true with Hashem’s betrothal of the Jewish people. Through this betrothal, all other desires for materialism and physicality become forbidden to us. We also unite with Hashem in an exclusive bond of oneness.
The circular ring represents an Or Makif, a transcendent, all-encompassing light, which like a ring, surrounds and encompasses all existence. Hashem betroths us through Torah and Mitzvos which contain this light. We allude to this in the Bracha of each Mitzvah where we say “Asher Kideshanu Bemitzvosav” which can also mean that He has ‘betrothed us’ with His Mitzvos.
It is easy for the ‘beautiful Kallah’ Neshama to unite in Kiddushin with Hashem. These are the souls who seek to cleave to Hashem through the words of Torah and Tefillah; studying with a depth of understanding and Davening with Kavanah.
The spiritually-deficient bride is the Neshama that struggles to overcome the animalistic soul. The Neshama is pure, but she is unable to actualise her deep yearning for connection to Hashem because of the animalistic soul that leads her astray after materialism and sin. These souls need to take a different route to the Chuppah.
“And I will betroth you to Me forever” refers to the beautiful bride, the Neshama which has a constant and unchanging bond with Hashem through immersion in Torah and Tefillah.
The continuation of the verses teach us how even the bride who is “blind” or “lame” can become betrothed and connected to Hashem.
“And I will betroth you to Me with righteousness (Tzedek) and with justice and with loving-kindness and with mercy”. Tzedaka has the power to redeem the Neshama from captivity within the desires of the animalistic soul, as our sages teach, “Tzedaka brings redemption”. There must also be justice – referring to judging oneself to actively remove the negativity of the animalistic soul.
“Loving-kindness and mercy” refers to the Avodah of arousing mercy and feeling a deep sense of Rachmonus for our Neshama that has fallen so low. This arouses Hashem to have Rachmonus on us and help to lift us up from this state of captivity.
But for those Neshamos that do not have the means to give Tzedaka or the ability to arouse this sense of Rachmonus, there is a third path; “And I will betroth you to Me with faith”.
Every Neshama possesses deep within it, a core of pure faith. No matter what is happening on the external levels of the soul, this spark of Emunah remains intact, albeit hidden. This faith can be revealed through meditating on how Hashem transcends all existence. With this faith revealed, we can overcome all of the concealments and confinements of the animalistic soul. By revealing this faith, this Neshama too becomes a beautiful and graceful bride.
All of this discussion relates to Kiddushin, the first and more external stage of the union. The finalisation of the marriage, where the bride and groom become “one flesh” is the Nisuin. This is alluded to in the conclusion of the verse וְיָדַ֖עַתְּ אֶת ה‘ “and you shall know the Lord”.
The Torah describes the intimate union of Adam and Chava with the word ידע. In contrast to the external union associated with Kiddushin, Daas (knowing) represents a deep, intimate and internalised bond.
This finalisation of the marriage bond will be realised with the coming of Moshiach. Then “the world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem”, reflecting the union of oneness between Hashem and His beautiful bride, the Jewish people that will be manifest for the whole world to see and celebrate.
~ Based on Likutei Torah Parshas Bamidbar