A PARENTING LESSON FROM SHEMITTAH
Behar
What does farming have to do with parenting? The Mitzvah of Shemittah at the beginning of this week’s Parsha offers a powerful message in how to approach raising our children.
“And it will be when you enter the Land that I am giving you, the land shall rest a Shabbos for Hashem. For six years you shall sow your fields and for six years you shall prune your vineyards, and you shall gather in its produce. And the Seventh year shall be holy for you, a Shabbos for the Land.”
“And it will be when you enter the Land…”
When parents bring a child into the world, they are ‘entering into the Land’ to plant and raise a flourishing Jewish family.
“That I am giving you…”
This is the land that I have given you. Hashem has entrusted us as parents with the merit and the awesome responsibility of cultivating a Jewish soul – His child.
“The land shall rest a Shabbos for Hashem.”
The first Shemittah was only observed after 14 years of conquering and settling Eretz Yisroel and after the 6 preliminary years of work. Nonetheless the Torah seems to instruct that Shemittah be observed immediately upon their arrival.
The Alter Rebbe explains that the Torah is setting up the goal, which must be established before the work begins. During the six years of reaping and harvesting, it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture; that we exist in this world to infuse it with G‐dliness. The Torah teaches that our focus must constantly be on the seventh year when the land must lie fallow and the farmers have respite to engage in more spiritual activities such as Torah study.
Parenting is the same. When raising our children, we need to have a goal, a vision to work towards. What do we want to raise our children to be? What values do we want them to possess as they grow up?
These goals must be resolved and appreciated from the very outset, even before the child enters the world. Then, everything we do in raising, disciplining and educating the child, including the example we set for them, must be in congruence with this goal.
As Jews, the greatest priority in raising our children is that they be connected to Hashem through the observance of Torah and Mitzvos. Our goal should be that our ‘land’ be a ‘Shabbos for Hashem’. We hope and pray that each child will be devoted to Hashem and His service; that each child be a spiritual being – a Shabbosdig child – where Yiddishkeit permeates his or her very being.
This is not an easy objective when raising a child in a materialistic world. How is it possible to ensure that after all our efforts, when our children grow up, that they will be the Shabbosdig child that we so much want them to be?
“For six years you shall sow your fields and for six years you shall prune your vineyards…”
Chinuch, much like farming, takes a lot of hard work. Raising children takes effort. There is no ‘day off’ from parenting. We have to invest the time, energy, love and devotion to this awesome and holy task.
The word used for sowing, tizra, refers specifically to grain (zera). Grain is the staple of a man’s diet. Bread represents that which is necessary for survival. On the other hand, vineyards produce grapes which ferment into wine – a beverage of luxury and delight. “Wine brings joy to the hearts of man and also to Hashem”. Wine and fruit are not consumed out of need. They are imbibed for pleasure.
The ‘bread and water’ of a Jewish home is the basics necessary to survive. Every Jewish home must observe Shabbos, kosher, family purity – observance as defined in the Shulchan Aruch. Every home must also have the experience of Torah study. These are the staples of a Jewish home and the bedrock of the Jewish family.
However, when teaching our children the value of Torah and serving Hashem, we cannot suffice with the bare minimum in our observance if we desire to raise children who are committed and passionate. We need to bring in the dimension of ‘wine’.
Yiddishkeit should be alive and exciting. In keeping the Mitzvos, we go beyond the basic requirement, looking for opportunities to enhance our service of Hashem with Hiddur Mitzvah. We need to be passionate about our Torah study, davening and keeping of the Mitzvos. These need to be infused with chayus – vitality. This is in contrast to doing it because we have to, looking to be Yotzai and “get away” with the most basic standard.
In taking care of our children’s physical needs, would we feed them just bread and water? Would we suffice with the bare necessities when it comes to their clothing and toys? How about with regards to the furnishings in the homes that we build?
Certainly not! Then how much more so when carrying out the most sacred and primary role that we have of raising our children to be inspired, connected and observant Jews.
The specific activities of tizra (sowing) and tizmor (pruning) represent two different but necessary approaches in our Chinuch.
Parenting requires tizra – active positive engagement, planting and instilling our values. We also need tizmor, to prune away negative influences which may be harmful or obstruct our children’s spiritual development.
By investing the time and effort – the ‘grains’ and the ‘grapes’ – all the while keeping our goal in the forefront of our minds. Then we will have the nachas of seeing our young saplings grow and bare ‘fruit’, raising a new generation of Jewish children who are ‘Shabbos laHashem’.
“And it will be when you enter the Land that I am giving you, the land shall rest a Shabbos for Hashem. For six years you shall sow your fields and for six years you shall prune your vineyards, and you shall gather in its produce. And the Seventh year shall be holy for you, a Shabbos for the Land.”
“And it will be when you enter the Land…”
When parents bring a child into the world, they are ‘entering into the Land’ to plant and raise a flourishing Jewish family.
“That I am giving you…”
This is the land that I have given you. Hashem has entrusted us as parents with the merit and the awesome responsibility of cultivating a Jewish soul – His child.
“The land shall rest a Shabbos for Hashem.”
The first Shemittah was only observed after 14 years of conquering and settling Eretz Yisroel and after the 6 preliminary years of work. Nonetheless the Torah seems to instruct that Shemittah be observed immediately upon their arrival.
The Alter Rebbe explains that the Torah is setting up the goal, which must be established before the work begins. During the six years of reaping and harvesting, it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture; that we exist in this world to infuse it with G‐dliness. The Torah teaches that our focus must constantly be on the seventh year when the land must lie fallow and the farmers have respite to engage in more spiritual activities such as Torah study.
Parenting is the same. When raising our children, we need to have a goal, a vision to work towards. What do we want to raise our children to be? What values do we want them to possess as they grow up?
These goals must be resolved and appreciated from the very outset, even before the child enters the world. Then, everything we do in raising, disciplining and educating the child, including the example we set for them, must be in congruence with this goal.
As Jews, the greatest priority in raising our children is that they be connected to Hashem through the observance of Torah and Mitzvos. Our goal should be that our ‘land’ be a ‘Shabbos for Hashem’. We hope and pray that each child will be devoted to Hashem and His service; that each child be a spiritual being – a Shabbosdig child – where Yiddishkeit permeates his or her very being.
This is not an easy objective when raising a child in a materialistic world. How is it possible to ensure that after all our efforts, when our children grow up, that they will be the Shabbosdig child that we so much want them to be?
“For six years you shall sow your fields and for six years you shall prune your vineyards…”
Chinuch, much like farming, takes a lot of hard work. Raising children takes effort. There is no ‘day off’ from parenting. We have to invest the time, energy, love and devotion to this awesome and holy task.
The word used for sowing, tizra, refers specifically to grain (zera). Grain is the staple of a man’s diet. Bread represents that which is necessary for survival. On the other hand, vineyards produce grapes which ferment into wine – a beverage of luxury and delight. “Wine brings joy to the hearts of man and also to Hashem”. Wine and fruit are not consumed out of need. They are imbibed for pleasure.
The ‘bread and water’ of a Jewish home is the basics necessary to survive. Every Jewish home must observe Shabbos, kosher, family purity – observance as defined in the Shulchan Aruch. Every home must also have the experience of Torah study. These are the staples of a Jewish home and the bedrock of the Jewish family.
However, when teaching our children the value of Torah and serving Hashem, we cannot suffice with the bare minimum in our observance if we desire to raise children who are committed and passionate. We need to bring in the dimension of ‘wine’.
Yiddishkeit should be alive and exciting. In keeping the Mitzvos, we go beyond the basic requirement, looking for opportunities to enhance our service of Hashem with Hiddur Mitzvah. We need to be passionate about our Torah study, davening and keeping of the Mitzvos. These need to be infused with chayus – vitality. This is in contrast to doing it because we have to, looking to be Yotzai and “get away” with the most basic standard.
In taking care of our children’s physical needs, would we feed them just bread and water? Would we suffice with the bare necessities when it comes to their clothing and toys? How about with regards to the furnishings in the homes that we build?
Certainly not! Then how much more so when carrying out the most sacred and primary role that we have of raising our children to be inspired, connected and observant Jews.
The specific activities of tizra (sowing) and tizmor (pruning) represent two different but necessary approaches in our Chinuch.
Parenting requires tizra – active positive engagement, planting and instilling our values. We also need tizmor, to prune away negative influences which may be harmful or obstruct our children’s spiritual development.
By investing the time and effort – the ‘grains’ and the ‘grapes’ – all the while keeping our goal in the forefront of our minds. Then we will have the nachas of seeing our young saplings grow and bare ‘fruit’, raising a new generation of Jewish children who are ‘Shabbos laHashem’.