A MANTRA TO OVERCOME INADEQUACY
Vayigash
Who do you think you are? You know who you are, you know how lowly you are and all the sins that you have done. Do you think you are worthy of coming before Hashem to pray to Him? Do you think He will listen to your prayers?
Many of us struggle with thoughts like these that plague our minds when we come to Daven or connect to Hashem in other ways. They leave us feeling ashamed and unworthy. They may put us off entirely from Davening or engaging in spiritual growth.
How do we overcome these thoughts, especially when we are acutely aware of the truth of our shortcomings and deficiencies?
At the beginning of Parshas Vayigash, Yehudah approaches Yosef and asks “please my master, let your servant please speak in the ears of my master”.
This is a continuation to the conclusion of last week’s Parsha. After finding his silver goblet that had been planted in Binyomin’s sack, Yosef accosts the brothers. Yehudah cries out “what can we say to my master? What can we say and what can we do to justify ourselves. G-d has found the sin of your servants.”
Every part of Torah, even its stories, are living lessons to us in our personal service of Hashem.
Our sages teach that the word Vayigash “and he approached” - is used in different contexts. One of them is to approach Hashem in prayer. Therefore, we can read this Parsha as a metaphor for prayer and glean personal insight and lessons for when we approach Hashem.
Throughout the discourse, Yehudah refers to Yosef as Adoni “my master”. This word has the same letters as the Divine Name אדנ-י, the Master of the world. Yehudah refers to himself as “your servant”, reflecting the humility and subservience with which we come before our Heavenly Master.
Like Yehudah’s words at the end of last week’s Parsha, we question ourselves “what can we say?” i.e. how can we speak in prayer? “How can we justify ourselves?”. We reflect on our sins, our baggage, our guilt and shame as “Hashem has found our sins” and knows very well who we are.
The truth is that these thoughts of inferiority, lowliness and being unworthy, are nothing more than the voice of the Yetzer Hora, seeking to prevent us from drawing close and connecting to Hashem.
Our response to these voices and negative self-talk can be found in Yehudah’s words at the beginning of this week’s Parsha. Yehudah’s words בי אדני, “please my master”, can also be read as “in me is Adon-ai”. In this context, Yehudah is not addressing Yosef, but is talking to himself;
Inside of me is a pure soul which is a part of Hashem Himself. This is who I am and what defines me. I may have sinned and may seem distant from Hashem, but my soul, my essential self that lies within me is Adon-ai, a spark of G-d. This is my absolute, eternal and infinite value and no one and nothing can take this away from me.
With this realisation, Yehudah concludes “let me speak in the ears of Adon-ai”; Because I am a pure soul, I am worthy and I can speak to Hashem. My prayers are meaningful and precious and Hashem wants to hear them.
Guilt, shame and sadness are the tools of the Yetzer Hora. Guilt for our sins may present as piety, honesty and humility, but it is nothing more than the Yetzer Hora trying to stop us from connecting to Hashem, by making us feel low and bad about ourselves.
After enticing us to sin, the Yetzer Hora then comes to make us guilty and depressed about what we have done and how bad we are. We buy into this narrative and start to see ourselves as unworthy of serving Hashem. The Baal Shem Tov taught, that this second sin (feeling unworthy) is even worse than the initial one.
When we struggle with feelings of lowliness, questioning our value and self-worth, we should reflect on the simple two-word mantra בי אדני, “G-d is within me”. Like Yehudah, we can then approach any challenge or pursuit, from a place of strength and confidence.
Based on the writings of the Tiferes Shlomo
Many of us struggle with thoughts like these that plague our minds when we come to Daven or connect to Hashem in other ways. They leave us feeling ashamed and unworthy. They may put us off entirely from Davening or engaging in spiritual growth.
How do we overcome these thoughts, especially when we are acutely aware of the truth of our shortcomings and deficiencies?
At the beginning of Parshas Vayigash, Yehudah approaches Yosef and asks “please my master, let your servant please speak in the ears of my master”.
This is a continuation to the conclusion of last week’s Parsha. After finding his silver goblet that had been planted in Binyomin’s sack, Yosef accosts the brothers. Yehudah cries out “what can we say to my master? What can we say and what can we do to justify ourselves. G-d has found the sin of your servants.”
Every part of Torah, even its stories, are living lessons to us in our personal service of Hashem.
Our sages teach that the word Vayigash “and he approached” - is used in different contexts. One of them is to approach Hashem in prayer. Therefore, we can read this Parsha as a metaphor for prayer and glean personal insight and lessons for when we approach Hashem.
Throughout the discourse, Yehudah refers to Yosef as Adoni “my master”. This word has the same letters as the Divine Name אדנ-י, the Master of the world. Yehudah refers to himself as “your servant”, reflecting the humility and subservience with which we come before our Heavenly Master.
Like Yehudah’s words at the end of last week’s Parsha, we question ourselves “what can we say?” i.e. how can we speak in prayer? “How can we justify ourselves?”. We reflect on our sins, our baggage, our guilt and shame as “Hashem has found our sins” and knows very well who we are.
The truth is that these thoughts of inferiority, lowliness and being unworthy, are nothing more than the voice of the Yetzer Hora, seeking to prevent us from drawing close and connecting to Hashem.
Our response to these voices and negative self-talk can be found in Yehudah’s words at the beginning of this week’s Parsha. Yehudah’s words בי אדני, “please my master”, can also be read as “in me is Adon-ai”. In this context, Yehudah is not addressing Yosef, but is talking to himself;
Inside of me is a pure soul which is a part of Hashem Himself. This is who I am and what defines me. I may have sinned and may seem distant from Hashem, but my soul, my essential self that lies within me is Adon-ai, a spark of G-d. This is my absolute, eternal and infinite value and no one and nothing can take this away from me.
With this realisation, Yehudah concludes “let me speak in the ears of Adon-ai”; Because I am a pure soul, I am worthy and I can speak to Hashem. My prayers are meaningful and precious and Hashem wants to hear them.
Guilt, shame and sadness are the tools of the Yetzer Hora. Guilt for our sins may present as piety, honesty and humility, but it is nothing more than the Yetzer Hora trying to stop us from connecting to Hashem, by making us feel low and bad about ourselves.
After enticing us to sin, the Yetzer Hora then comes to make us guilty and depressed about what we have done and how bad we are. We buy into this narrative and start to see ourselves as unworthy of serving Hashem. The Baal Shem Tov taught, that this second sin (feeling unworthy) is even worse than the initial one.
When we struggle with feelings of lowliness, questioning our value and self-worth, we should reflect on the simple two-word mantra בי אדני, “G-d is within me”. Like Yehudah, we can then approach any challenge or pursuit, from a place of strength and confidence.
Based on the writings of the Tiferes Shlomo